I- It’s OK to Not be Okay #BlogchatterA2Z #AtoZChallenge #AtoZ

its ok

These are my personal musings. I am sharing what I went through and how I overcame the situations.. You may have a different view and you are welcome to share yours. No views can be the same as each of us is different.

A friend found me funny for being a Scare Dare, Timid Bold and Young Old.

Well, Life is never balanced always. To balance the imbalance, increase or decrease the ups and downs. Its okay if you to say you’re not okay. Yes, that’s right. It took me a while to learn this simple fact. I am more like my Dad, small eyes with hardly countable eyelashes and eyebrows. As a child, I never felt eyebrows as a big deal. But as I grew up, when my friends started teasing me, I felt hurt and embarrassed. I know this is a very silly problem, but I had hard times posing for a photo where I looked odd among the others. Simple, but it was not!

I had worked in a prestigious Institute before marriage. My salary was at its peak two decades before as I had the housing facilities within the campus. While I was at the peak of my job, I suddenly got engaged. Although I wanted to get married, I did not want to leave my job. I wanted to go overseas but did not want to break my ties with the Institute that I loved as my second home. Time and Tide waits for none, so was my marriage. We found K a suitable partner and without any further delay, my parents proceeded with the alliance. Initially, I had regrets resigning my job, but I was happy to cross 7 seas joining hands with K. I landed up with a good job and started working after marriage and continued working even after A was born. I worked until A was 6 years old. Thereafter, mutually agreeing, I resigned my job for good reasons to become a full-time mom. I never looked back as I thoroughly enjoyed being with A, nurturing and parenting as a doting mom. I exhibited my skills (cooking, cleaning, budgeting, parenting) and enjoyed the bliss of being a housewife. Every day was a learning journey and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was all a smooth sail until the sea was calm. At 35 years, I was experiencing boredom with the daily routine. Maybe, I allowed the overwhelming feeling to take over. I wanted to get back to work. Having lost 10 years of my experience it was difficult for me to compete with the younger people. I had a hard time to brush up my skills. Earlier, time favoured me on the demanding side. Now, I had to accept the demands. The workplace was about 45 min travel. If I accepted the job, I will have to be the early bird and the night owl. Although K never questioned me about money, I wanted to be financially independent; at the same time, I did not want to take the unnecessary pressure on me. I felt like I was about to go into a nervous breakdown and showed signs of depression. I tried to be happy sad and active tired all the time.

I am an organizing addict whereas K and A the reverse poles. If I start cleaning they explored fun ways to dirty. Together they chorus “House is not a Museum to have things organized, House is a place of Life and Love”. What more I can say? Those moments, I would wish for a sweet little daughter who could be my side to support me.. But who knows, if the daughter were a disciple of brother and dad!

For a change, I decided to ignore the routine. I did not want to be the Perfecto! instead explored my hands on translation. I am well versed in 5 languages and I started my translation services for a local channel here. I was amazed when I heard good comments on my first job. Slowly my life changed and I learned to be positive, accept the changes and enjoyed the happiness of being NOT OKAY.

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences. I think that I was trying too hard on myself, overanalyzing every situation earlier. I changed my mind to take a break from the daily routine. I don’t feel embarrassed anymore that I am missing the bushy eyebrows because I have started using the pencil to draw the eyebrows. I became financially independent by choosing the path I was comfortable in. I had time for my family and my passions. Had I not taken the chance to fall apart that day, I would never have explored myself!

Am I being Jack of All trade?

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Welcome to syncwithdeep! I am not a prolific blogger. My blog is just 1 month old. I love memories and that was one of my reasons to come up with blogging. I don’t have a niche as I love to write about anything that appeals to me. This is my first year with #BlogchatterA2Z #ATOZChallenge and I have taken up the category woman themed at 40. In a couple of months, I am going to set my foot on the 40s, the descending hill. I am sharing my perspective how this transition is going to transform me in the nearing future. This is absolutely my Personal Experience. I would be glad if you spam me with your comments, whether you agree or disagree. That way, I can know how you welcome your 40s. Stay tuned with me every day to know how I am coping with my 40s.

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#BlogchatterA2Z #AtoZChallenge #AtoZ #woman #I #depression #emotions #feelings

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39 thoughts on “I- It’s OK to Not be Okay #BlogchatterA2Z #AtoZChallenge #AtoZ

  1. Saying “No” is sometimes the most difficult thing you will ever have to do. But knowing when to say it may change your life forever. Well written post with a beautiful message. Well done:-)

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    1. I am so sorry for the late reply. few comments from different bloggers reached the spam. I had to restore them and so this late reply. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I am glad you liked it.

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  2. Being perfect is overrated. Life is much more fun when you accept that there is mess and chaos at times. The fact that you are living your dream job while still being available for your family is so awesome. I am going to be 46 this year and I have to say that I love being in my 40’s. I look and feel better than I did in my 20’s and 30’s. And I accept myself way more easily, at least now. It has been a battle and I still struggle but slow and steady win the race. 🙂

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  3. It is absolutely ok to be not ok and there is no need to pretend one is. Life is not a perfect dream it has its share of pitfalls. I have light eyebrows too and I could relate to this! I was teased in school by some. I am so glad Deepa you found your way out and there will be moments like these in future too but remember “This too shall pass”

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  4. It takes a lot of inner struggle to accept the fact that its ok to be not ok. I strongly feel that root of this lies in the value system in which we are brought up. I have struggled my way to accept this new norm and now have enough stuff from yesteryear to laugh at!
    At the same time, I feel that its our responsibility to make the next generation aware of it so that they get to spend their time and energy wisely into other productive stuff.

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  5. What if I told you that it’s okay not to be okay? You might accept that notion in theory, but when The Feels occupy your mental space, leaving you with feelings of sadness, hurt, guilt, or just a general disconnect from any positive feelings about a thing, is your tendency to try to push through it, or to be with it?
    There is this unspoken Church of Positivity dogma that pushes us toward constant optimism. Think about how weird you’d come across to just about anyone if you said you didn’t feel good – and that you didn’t want to feel better. The agreed upon social sentiment is that as human beings, we should all be trying to experience positive thoughts and be optimistic about life. We are expected to respond in the affirmative to the constant calls to action: show up and smile no matter what; think positive thoughts; kick fear to the curb; and be strong enough to push past our pain.

    Seems legit, right? As a matter of fact, the decision to choose positivity as our general life lens can be incredibly empowering when we’re in the mental space to receive it.

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    1. Thank you Novembers child for stopping by. As said at the start of today’s post, These are my musings. What i have gone through and how I overcame the issues. True indeed, i love positivity and i make sure I spread positivity. Everybody at one stage of life, will have accepted, bold, dare, confused, change, exaggerated, had flashbacks, guilt, hurt, sad, confess or regrets. Thanks for the lovely note.

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  6. Wonderful. This is inspiring. And you know 5 languages.. Wow! All the very best to you Deepa for everything you want to achieve in your life.
    P.S. I have a daughter and she is not at all organised.

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  7. Thank you Deepa for sharing a slice of your life. I love cleanliness too, and it drives me crazy to find things unorganized in the house. My hubby’s cupboard for instance, whenever I open it, it makes me see red. Shirts and t-shirts pulled out and pushed back, but I have now come to terms with it. People cannot change for me, I will have to either change or accept the way things are. BTW, I can speak 4 languages as well. 🙂

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  8. It does take a lot to accept that it is ok not to be ok. Even though i mention it here i still feel there is something that is not ok and i do not feel ok about it yet. Sometimes we come out of it and move on to greener pastures and accept things in our life. Speaking of cleanliness and organising I set the rules and i realize only I seem to be following them. So finally after a couple of decades i have decided to leave the house as it is and say it is ok if things are not ok!!! 🙂

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    1. hahhah.. Sounds great and true.. I clean and there are people to make it dirty. Even my parrots dont listen to me, The moment i clean the cage with new sheets, they shred the paper into bits and pieces and make me go crazy! thanks for your thoughts sudha:)

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  9. It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences. This is the best line of the post. I can relate to each and everyone you wrote Deepa. I also travelled a lot after marriage and was not able to work. But made peace with it and tried to pursue my hobbies.

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