These are my personal musings. I am sharing what I went through and how I overcame the situations.. You may have a different view and you are welcome to share yours. No views can be the same as each of us is different.
A friend found me funny for being a Scare Dare, Timid Bold and Young Old.
Well, Life is never balanced always. To balance the imbalance, increase or decrease the ups and downs. Its okay if you to say you’re not okay. Yes, that’s right. It took me a while to learn this simple fact. I am more like my Dad, small eyes with hardly countable eyelashes and eyebrows. As a child, I never felt eyebrows as a big deal. But as I grew up, when my friends started teasing me, I felt hurt and embarrassed. I know this is a very silly problem, but I had hard times posing for a photo where I looked odd among the others. Simple, but it was not!
I had worked in a prestigious Institute before marriage. My salary was at its peak two decades before as I had the housing facilities within the campus. While I was at the peak of my job, I suddenly got engaged. Although I wanted to get married, I did not want to leave my job. I wanted to go overseas but did not want to break my ties with the Institute that I loved as my second home. Time and Tide waits for none, so was my marriage. We found K a suitable partner and without any further delay, my parents proceeded with the alliance. Initially, I had regrets resigning my job, but I was happy to cross 7 seas joining hands with K. I landed up with a good job and started working after marriage and continued working even after A was born. I worked until A was 6 years old. Thereafter, mutually agreeing, I resigned my job for good reasons to become a full-time mom. I never looked back as I thoroughly enjoyed being with A, nurturing and parenting as a doting mom. I exhibited my skills (cooking, cleaning, budgeting, parenting) and enjoyed the bliss of being a housewife. Every day was a learning journey and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was all a smooth sail until the sea was calm. At 35 years, I was experiencing boredom with the daily routine. Maybe, I allowed the overwhelming feeling to take over. I wanted to get back to work. Having lost 10 years of my experience it was difficult for me to compete with the younger people. I had a hard time to brush up my skills. Earlier, time favoured me on the demanding side. Now, I had to accept the demands. The workplace was about 45 min travel. If I accepted the job, I will have to be the early bird and the night owl. Although K never questioned me about money, I wanted to be financially independent; at the same time, I did not want to take the unnecessary pressure on me. I felt like I was about to go into a nervous breakdown and showed signs of depression. I tried to be happy sad and active tired all the time.
I am an organizing addict whereas K and A the reverse poles. If I start cleaning they explored fun ways to dirty. Together they chorus “House is not a Museum to have things organized, House is a place of Life and Love”. What more I can say? Those moments, I would wish for a sweet little daughter who could be my side to support me.. But who knows, if the daughter were a disciple of brother and dad!
For a change, I decided to ignore the routine. I did not want to be the Perfecto! instead explored my hands on translation. I am well versed in 5 languages and I started my translation services for a local channel here. I was amazed when I heard good comments on my first job. Slowly my life changed and I learned to be positive, accept the changes and enjoyed the happiness of being NOT OKAY.
It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences. I think that I was trying too hard on myself, overanalyzing every situation earlier. I changed my mind to take a break from the daily routine. I don’t feel embarrassed anymore that I am missing the bushy eyebrows because I have started using the pencil to draw the eyebrows. I became financially independent by choosing the path I was comfortable in. I had time for my family and my passions. Had I not taken the chance to fall apart that day, I would never have explored myself!
Am I being Jack of All trade?
Welcome to syncwithdeep! I am not a prolific blogger. My blog is just 1 month old. I love memories and that was one of my reasons to come up with blogging. I don’t have a niche as I love to write about anything that appeals to me. This is my first year with #BlogchatterA2Z #ATOZChallenge and I have taken up the category woman themed at 40. In a couple of months, I am going to set my foot on the 40s, the descending hill. I am sharing my perspective how this transition is going to transform me in the nearing future. This is absolutely my Personal Experience. I would be glad if you spam me with your comments, whether you agree or disagree. That way, I can know how you welcome your 40s. Stay tuned with me every day to know how I am coping with my 40s.
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