As children grow, they progress from being totally dependent during their first years of life to a higher degree of independence in their teenage years, when they start feeling the need to create their own identity. Parents may feel overly protective of their kids and want to overdo every aspect of their lives.
I remember the way my kid crawled around the room – cautiously, yet full of confidence. He would take small steps and fall with a thud! My heart will skip a beat to see him falling, but I did not want to take control of his situation, instead wanted him to grow confident. I wanted to give him the space he needed even though my fear and anxiety lingered. The desire to protect him was always there and I was ready whenever he needed me.
There is a difference between being protective and overprotective. When A was toddler and preschooler, I wanted him to reason out and learn things. I expected him to ask me the 5W and 1H questions. I was always a mobile dictionary and a lending library to him. I was protective of him, just in case. No sooner did he start his primary schooling, I transformed from being Protective to Over Protective. Why did not I give him the space he needed?
As A was growing up, I was being overprotective in his studies and CCA grouping. He wanted to join the drama club. But I insisted him to join NCC (Sea). I thought NCC will help him physically so that he will be mentally adaptable for his National Service in his 18 years. That was a grave mistake I did as a doting mom. A was never able to relate to this CCA with interests. Although he successfully completed 4 years of NCC, he felt that was more than enough for him. For the first time, I felt defeated in nurturing him. Had I been an obstacle to his interest in being overprotective? Although my primary concern was to give him the best, I choose the wrong way to advocate my ideas. I realized I pretended to be my child’s best friend. Instead of overprotecting, I could have been a fan of his boy band or Geronimo Stilton book. All parents fail in some sense. I too had failed, but thanks to god, I realized that as long as I cling to my child like a lifebelt, I will cease to grow up.
When I was a child, a family outing dinner at a restaurant happened maybe once every other month, and it was a big deal. But today, my son eats out at fast food restaurants several times a week. Did I stand on the wrong side by advising him on healthy food?
We live in a very different era than when we were kids, and in our nostalgia, we also minimized the dangers we lived with then. My son is growing up in an era after I discovered that statistically, children are more likely to be harmed by someone close to the family than by a stranger. Am I overdoing or over-thinking it?
As my son grew older, so did my understanding of this idea. I had to work hard at not becoming a tiger mom, always hovering. Motherhood is the ultimate learning curve. It pays the ultimate reward when we don’t over-think it, or over-analyze it but over-enjoy it by all means.
Welcome to syncwithdeep! I am not a prolific blogger. My blog is 1 month old. I love memories and that was one of my reasons to come up with blogging. I don’t have a niche as I love to write about anything that appeals to me. This is my first year with #BlogchatterA2Z #ATOZChallenge and I have taken up the category woman themed at 40. In a couple of months, I am going to set my foot on the 40s, the descending hill. I am sharing my perspective how this transition is going to transform me in the nearing future. This is absolutely my Personal Experience. I would be glad if you spam me with your comments, whether you agree or disagree. That way, I can know how you welcome your 40s. Stay tuned with me every day to know how I am coping with my 40s.
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