O- Odyssey of Parenting Mind #BlogchatterA2Z #AtoZChallenge #AtoZ

As children grow, they progress from being totally dependent during their first years of life to a higher degree of independence in their teenage years, when they start feeling the need to create their own identity. Parents may feel overly protective of their kids and want to overdo every aspect of their lives.

I remember the way my kid crawled around the room – cautiously, yet full of confidence. He would take small steps and fall with a thud! My heart will skip a beat to see him falling, but I did not want to take control of his situation, instead wanted him to grow confident. I wanted to give him the space he needed even though my fear and anxiety lingered. The desire to protect him was always there and I was ready whenever he needed me.

There is a difference between being protective and overprotective. When A was toddler and preschooler, I wanted him to reason out and learn things. I expected him to ask me the 5W and 1H questions. I was always a mobile dictionary and a lending library to him. I was protective of him, just in case. No sooner did he start his primary schooling, I transformed from being Protective to Over Protective. Why did not I give him the space he needed?

As A was growing up, I was being overprotective in his studies and CCA grouping. He wanted to join the drama club. But I insisted him to join NCC (Sea). I thought NCC will help him physically so that he will be mentally adaptable for his National Service in his 18 years. That was a grave mistake I did as a doting mom. A was never able to relate to this CCA with interests. Although he successfully completed 4 years of NCC, he felt that was more than enough for him. For the first time, I felt defeated in nurturing him. Had I been an obstacle to his interest in being overprotective? Although my primary concern was to give him the best, I choose the wrong way to advocate my ideas. I realized I pretended to be my child’s best friend. Instead of overprotecting, I could have been a fan of his boy band or Geronimo Stilton book. All parents fail in some sense. I too had failed, but thanks to god, I realized that as long as I cling to my child like a lifebelt, I will cease to grow up.

When I was a child, a family outing dinner at a restaurant happened maybe once every other month, and it was a big deal. But today, my son eats out at fast food restaurants several times a week. Did I stand on the wrong side by advising him on healthy food?

We live in a very different era than when we were kids, and in our nostalgia, we also minimized the dangers we lived with then. My son is growing up in an era after I discovered that statistically, children are more likely to be harmed by someone close to the family than by a stranger. Am I overdoing or over-thinking it?

As my son grew older, so did my understanding of this idea. I had to work hard at not becoming a tiger mom, always hovering. Motherhood is the ultimate learning curve. It pays the ultimate reward when we don’t over-think it, or over-analyze it but over-enjoy it by all means.

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Welcome to syncwithdeep! I am not a prolific blogger. My blog is 1 month old. I love memories and that was one of my reasons to come up with blogging. I don’t have a niche as I love to write about anything that appeals to me. This is my first year with #BlogchatterA2Z #ATOZChallenge and I have taken up the category woman themed at 40. In a couple of months, I am going to set my foot on the 40s, the descending hill. I am sharing my perspective how this transition is going to transform me in the nearing future. This is absolutely my Personal Experience. I would be glad if you spam me with your comments, whether you agree or disagree. That way, I can know how you welcome your 40s. Stay tuned with me every day to know how I am coping with my 40s.

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#BlogchatterA2Z #AtoZChallenge #AtoZ #woman #O #overprotective #parenting

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44 thoughts on “O- Odyssey of Parenting Mind #BlogchatterA2Z #AtoZChallenge #AtoZ

  1. As parents we are bound to be protective and many times over-protective towards our kids. We believe that we are preparing them to be successful in life, but it might not work out always. I have realized that we need to let go and let them become independent decision-makers who learn from their own mistakes and failures.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Parenting is an ongoing practice or learning, as every parent is different and every child is different too. You are right that at times we become overprotective, but that’s because we want them to live a happy and healthy lifestyle, even when we are not with them. But yes at times we have to leave them, where they can learn to be self-dependent and when they can learn from their own mistakes and failures. As a parent, we need to be there for them in those times to support them, only if they feel like.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There is a thin line between protective and over-protective parenting. Some times we cross that line inadvertently. But in that case as well the harm is not the intention. Aren’t we also growing and learning as parents along with our kids?. No school/ college /university ever teaches parenting and thus we learn our way up through experiences. What matters is whether we keep our eyes open, learn and then change the course of action. I so believe that there is right or wrong way here…there is only one way…keep moving and keep growing!

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  4. Its really difficult as a parent to know her to draw the line. Kids these days are exposed to more information, they are more opinionated than we were. Its best to let them explore and be around , lest they need some guidance

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  5. Every mother’s saga, Deepa. We want the best for our kids, but in wanting so, we sometimes do more harm than good. We have the best of intentions, but somehow they don’t turn out well. We are learning to be mothers too with each passing day. So I think we should cut ourselves some slack and go with the flow. Thanks for this post, it makes me revisit my parenting too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Deepa, as my daughter grows up and talks about things, I am scared. I am scared every single day of how I will handle her emotions, her attachment to other people. Toddler tantrums are different, I am more scared of her turning into a teenager and handling her mood swings. God save me and all of us!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much Deepa, I am so touched. You make me feel special. Also, I feel the same. I am so happy to know you as a person. I just hope this challenge doesn’t end and we can meet up every day through our thoughts. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. As a parent of 2, i have same dilemma. Every advise i want to make I need to think twice – if I am being protextive? Or am I holding them from trying out something new. What if they fail? Yes, let them dail and learn when you are here, rather than fail and suffer in future with no one to support. Right?

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  7. It is true we all make mistakes Deepa but you seem to belong to the rare category that analyze their actions and learn from their mistakes and work to improve themselves. In doing that you are setting a great example for your child and it makes you a great mom.

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  8. Parenting is not easy and its all about balance. As a mom, I also get these thoughts a lot and whatever we do or not do, we moms feel guilty. The truth is that there is no right or wrong way. Its all about what you feel is right for your child, you do that.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It is sometimes difficult to not be over protective. My daughter is now 13. I’ve always believed in natural consequences and have let her learn from her mistakes. This past weekend she let her friends talk her into buying something she didn’t want, she wore it while they were around and then wanted to return it. She was devastated to learn she wouldn’t be able to get her money back. She worked really hard for it. My heart ached for her because she’s a saver by nature. She hates spending money and this $30 loss I know hit her hard. But I let her learn that lesson and hope in the future she gets better at saying no (we talked about this too)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. ❤️ thank you. I think her saving habits are inherited really. She’s much like me that way whereas her sister is like her dad and truly enjoys spending money (even on other people…She’s very generous). Both have their problems. I’m trying to teach them to be more balanced but that’s proving to be difficult! 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Parenting nowadays is soo complicated. We can not apply “our-times” rules now. We have to see the situation then react. As a parent it is difficult but as you said it is an ongoing learning process.

    Liked by 1 person

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